this is so good. as a textbook people pleaser, boundaries are not my area of expertise, but I think everyone could benefit from reframing it as something to do with behaviour and not people ❤️ thankyou for writing this
Feb 27, 2023·edited Feb 27, 2023Liked by Anna Codrea-Rado
Love this piece Anna - both setting and respecting boundaries is so hard! I think one of the hardest things about respecting another person's boundaries is remembering that we all value different things -- even when it's a close friend or a partner with whom you share loads in common. My best friend just told me a story of when her sister set a boundary with her, and when she struggled to respect it, her sister reminded her: "Not everyone likes to do what you like to do." So simple, but so helpful.
Brilliant piece, Anna! I only just discovered your Substack and am really enjoying it :) I recently wrote about how I needed to remind myself "No is a complete sentence" when a date was pushing my boundaries, but I didn't say "No." because, quite honestly, it doesn't feel complete to me. Still, I felt angry that he continued to be harassing and ignore the other clear (or so I thought) signals I was giving, but I was also frustrated that I needed to express boundaries more assertively, that he didn't just GET it. I loved your piece because I often think that we have become too self-centred, both in life and on the Internet, with incidences of the word "I" exponentially growing since 2000 whilst "we" is comparatively flat (https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=I%2Cwe&year_start=1800&year_end=2019&corpus=en-2019&smoothing=3) and agree with you that we would all do better to think more of respecting others boundaries than aggressively setting our own.
Love ‘live your truth’. I am only just learning this at 45. My version is ‘you do you’.
Holy shit. This was eye opening and healing. Thank you. I couldn’t agree more!
this is so good. as a textbook people pleaser, boundaries are not my area of expertise, but I think everyone could benefit from reframing it as something to do with behaviour and not people ❤️ thankyou for writing this
Love this piece Anna - both setting and respecting boundaries is so hard! I think one of the hardest things about respecting another person's boundaries is remembering that we all value different things -- even when it's a close friend or a partner with whom you share loads in common. My best friend just told me a story of when her sister set a boundary with her, and when she struggled to respect it, her sister reminded her: "Not everyone likes to do what you like to do." So simple, but so helpful.
I might take this one as quote, "how good are we at respecting someone else when they say no to us?"
Brilliant piece, Anna! I only just discovered your Substack and am really enjoying it :) I recently wrote about how I needed to remind myself "No is a complete sentence" when a date was pushing my boundaries, but I didn't say "No." because, quite honestly, it doesn't feel complete to me. Still, I felt angry that he continued to be harassing and ignore the other clear (or so I thought) signals I was giving, but I was also frustrated that I needed to express boundaries more assertively, that he didn't just GET it. I loved your piece because I often think that we have become too self-centred, both in life and on the Internet, with incidences of the word "I" exponentially growing since 2000 whilst "we" is comparatively flat (https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=I%2Cwe&year_start=1800&year_end=2019&corpus=en-2019&smoothing=3) and agree with you that we would all do better to think more of respecting others boundaries than aggressively setting our own.